Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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