Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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