I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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