note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
you never un-have a 4some
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
