he thought i was a dude.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
