i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
