Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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