he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
