capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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