this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
