We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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