Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
