I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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