Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish i was in the wii world.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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