I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
