I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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