new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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