I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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