Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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