I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
