i think my tv is drunk
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
