mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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