I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
