so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
