also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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