Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
