last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
