So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
