was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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