Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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