Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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