think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
