its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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