OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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