he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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