so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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