Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
