Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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