pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
