So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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