OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
