Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm at about main and main street
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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