worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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