i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
