I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
