Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
