why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can I color on your dick again?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
