Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My cat gives me a boner
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
