There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
