I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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